What do you do when you have no plans for the future?
When there is nothing you want in life.
There is no where you really want to go.
No city that you want to live in.
No job you are dying to have.
What do you do when you feel ill prepared for the world?
Not that you can’t take care of yourself, or pay your bills
but you don’t feel like you fit in with your coworkers.
You don’t really like the bar scene
you’re finding it harder to meet new people.
And therefore make new friends.
What do you do when there is nothing you want?
other than material things
and you don’t really want them
because you forget about them in a week.
What do you do when you feel smothered, stifled, lacking a proper outlet for your feelings?
Not wanting to be a bother to your friends
Or a burden. Or to impose.
You stagnate. You become apathetic. You feel trapped.
Every little thing feels like a bomb dropping.
You are looking for an excuse, any reason, to just pick up and run.
And yet you don’t want to.
Is it fear?
Of the unknown? Of success? Of life?
Of leaving your family?
it’s friday night, meaning it’s a night to go OUT.
to put your best face forward, dress cute and have a night on the town.
a night to go out to the bars, to flirt and to drink.
a night for fun with friends and…don’t i wish….to go dancing!
this town is too small for anywhere worth dancing. i have got to get over the mountains to denver if i want that. this is where that unemployment thing rather sucks a lot. i will make the best of it.
drinks and time with friends, that’s always fabulous!
an open letter to the people in our lives that we don’t want to be friends with/date:
really, you’d think that after however many years it’s been that you would just take the hint. i’ve been nice, i’ve demurred, i’ve out and out told you i’m not interested. don’t you think that if i wanted to hang with you i would find the time? do you think the passage of time is going to change my mind?
why do you keep texting me, chatting with me on facebook, inviting me to parties? please, just STOP!
do i invite you to go drinking with me? do i text just to say hi? do i invite you to do anything?
no, no i don’t.
please don’t make me be a bitch.
1. you are a nice person (i just don’t see us having anything in common.)
2. i’m not attracted to you.
3. i don’t have anything i want to talk to you about, not even inane things.
4. i treat you like i treat everyone else. (i must be too nice)
how do you deal with this? i’m apparently not doing it right.