ghosts

yesterday i woke up with one thought in my head, a memory of a friend. she told me once:

the images you see on the back if your eyelids will show you how you will die.

yeah, lovely thought to wake up to, right? except it didn’t bother me at all. i haven’t really thought about her too much lately. and never about this, at least not since January of 2000.

the really weird thing? she died a few weeks after she told me this. she also never told me what it was she saw. i still wonder if it was the car that hit her.

we were 14, it’s hard to lose a friend when you’re that young.

to be honest i don’t know why i thought of that yesterday. but immediately after i did, i closed my eyes and saw

stars.

just lil twinkly lights everywhere. a lil bit anticlimactic, don’tcha think?

 

pick two

well, i stumbled upon this image the other day and felt like sharing.

it seems to be true in most cases. then again*shrugs* i’d like to think i embody all three, but if it is you can only be two, i wonder which two i am?

my good friend and i have actually had a conversation similar to this. if you had to choose which two you would like to have in a significant other, which two would it be?

tough choice, no?

do you admit to being shallow and say good looks have to be one? or is emotional stability most important? or intelligence? *shakes head* wouldn’t the ideal person have all three?

for me, any guy i’m interested in has to be attractive (to me), intelligent and be confident in who he is and where he stands with me (is this emotionally stable?). i have quite a few guy friends and the thing is… i happen to flirt with everyone.

my thought on this is that all human interaction, when you get right down to it, is flirting. it’s just what we do. everyone loves a social butterfly, the person who is congenial, smiley, and seems genuinely interested in hearing what you have to say. isn’t this essentially an indiscriminate flirt?

you could argue this point, then again no one is really reading this so no one will. i’ll have to bring it up again with my friend and see if her choices have changed or not.

flexeril dreams

just woke up from my flexeril dreams, weirdest one was that all the snow we got yesterday had melted. i was actually upset but knew that didn’t make sense. semi-lucid dreaming i guess? either way, definitely gives me the oddest dreams.

i guess since it is the last day of this year, the normal thing to do is to think about what i’ve done and what next year may bring for me. yeah, that hasn’t happened. i keep forgetting that this year is ending and the new starts at midnight tonight. maybe i’ll be more introspective when it actually hits me. ah well.

i can just try again tomorrow, no?

can’t take a hint

an open letter to the people in our lives that we don’t want to be friends with/date:

really, you’d think that after however many years it’s been that you would just take the hint. i’ve been nice, i’ve demurred, i’ve out and out told you i’m not interested. don’t you think that if i wanted to hang with you i would find the time? do you think the passage of time is going to change my mind?

seriously.

why do you keep texting me, chatting with me on facebook, inviting me to parties? please, just STOP!

do i invite you to go drinking with me? do i text just to say hi? do i invite you to do anything?

no, no i don’t.

please don’t make me be a bitch.
1. you are a nice person (i just don’t see us having anything in common.)
2. i’m not attracted to you.
3. i don’t have anything i want to talk to you about, not even inane things.
4. i treat you like i treat everyone else. (i must be too nice)

ahhhh.

how do you deal with this? i’m apparently not doing it right.

life

i stumbled across this image the other day. a list of things that will help you live your life to it’s fullest.

i’m going to start this right now!

guys and cleaning

what is with guys telling girls that they cleaned recently? i only wonder because i’ve realized i’ve had several guys tell me about when they last cleaned, always within the day or two when they tell me.

does this having something to do with the hope that the person they are telling will  be comfortable enough to come over knowing that their place will not be a typical “gross guys place”. and in the guys eyes, possibly being a hook up as well?

i guess i’m a bit jaded, though i have a feeling i’m right. why else would you tell someone you were cleaning?

then again.

is it that so many people i know have such boring lives that that’s all we have to tell each other? hmm, my female friends don’t usually tell me they cleaned, if anything it’s that they tried something new cooking wise or they went shopping.

so, i do think it has all to do with a girl being comfortable coming over to their clean house. i’ll have to pay attention and see what keeps being said.

a love

there was a girl who loved fairy tales. the ones that most people don’t know and the versions of the famous ones not often shared with children. the ones with dark endings, snow white. the one’s that involve long journey’s with nameless destinations: east of the sun, west of the moon. the one’s with talking animals: prince ivan and the firebird and creatures like baba yaga (who’s as like to kill you as  help you). and they all contain an element of mystique and magic.

the princesses are always beautiful, but not not always good. though they are always redeemed by a deserving man (often the youngest son or a someone who is poor). the deserving are always attractive in these stories, though they may be clothed unattractively (in actual garments/magic or other reasons)

after all there is a tradition to be upheld with fairy tales. the youngest daughter is always the most beautiful, modest and retiring. the youngest son is believed to be a fool though he is usually quite clever.he is most deserving often times and receives the most help

one of my favorites is the goose girl from the brothers grimm. it has so many of the fairy tale tropes like repetition of rhyming phrases, the number 3,  talking animanls, just punishments (a rather violent end to the handmaiden who usurps her place), and a bit of magic.

there is nothing i want more right now then the entire collection of andrew lang’s fairy books. there are 13 of them and they are all named after colors. they have fairy tales from around the world! what i wouldn’t give to have the entire collection in a matched set.

happy christmahanakwanzika!

i made some really fun holiday cards this year, the first time i have ever done them! the verse just popped into my head one morning and i just had to make them into cards. so i felt like sharing them with the world. i’ll post them to twitter and facebook later no doubt.

sorry the pictures below aren’t too great. it’s not like i have a good camera or anything. *grins*

absinthe

makes me and my friends giggle…a lot. for a licorice/anise flavored spirit (i learned the difference between spirits and liqueur today) i really didn’t mind it too much.

absinthe itself smells pretty good in the bottle, very much like licorice. i was reminded of good’n plenties. after we poured it into the glass it smelled really herby and not as appetizing. we did the la louche ritual it smelled amazing.

the la louche ritual with the slotted spoon, sugar cube and pouring the cold water through the sugar til dissolved leaves you with a light green cloudy beverage with an herby licorice smell. the entire idea of louche (this article is a bit technical), which is where the essential oils that are alcohol soluble are not when you add water. it really what makes the absinthe experience considering this is how they had been drinking it for over a century.

it did have a nice end flavor of good’n plenties, but the first taste is a bit astringent or sour or maybe it’s just the 60% alcohol by volume. i’m not too sure. no one else was tasting what i thought i was, but they were making funny faces like i was. haha.

absinthe was banned from 1915 – 2007 in the US, due to shoddy “experiments” by several gentlemen and quite possibly due to some cheap additives that affected color but were bad for your health.

the bottle my friend purchased was $70.00, a bit on the expensive side for us unemployed people, and was the brand Lucid. which is apparently the first brand allowed to be imported to the US after the ban was lifted. i really got a kick out of how the “louche” style of drinking absinthe was written out on the bottle.

definitely not something i need to drink quickly. which i did anyways, cause i am a slow drinker and we needed to leave to meet up with some folks, so quickly downed it was.  the rest of the night was fun, we just had a few drinks out and about.

i did enjoy the absinthe experience, one of the few licorice drinks i will have again. however rare that will be.

wandering

there’s a saying that “not all who wander are lost.” apparently it’s a quote from tolkien’s lord of the rings. i’ve always loved it because i personally love to wander in nature, around the internet, and  new places. if i was able to go all over the world i would.

then again. there are times, more then i can count, where i feel that i am  the opposite. as i have been in one place by far too long. i feel there should be an opposite of this.

“not all who are lost, wander”

it’s true, how many people have lived in one place or stayed at the same job and all the while disliking it? having no idea who or what they would really like to do/be? we are lost inside ourselves desperately seeking who we are. going round and round with the same thoughts, never really getting anywhere but farther and farther down the rabbit hole because of the “what if’?s”.

the “what if”s” come out to play at night

when you can’t sleep
nothing seems quite right.

your brain likes to play tricks on you
it knows just what
and when or who.

the road not traveled
the experience lost
the book not written or read.

kick any regrets to the curb, i say
for what is past is past.
the future is in play.