what do you do?

What do you do when you have no plans for the future?
When there is nothing you want in life.
There is no where you really want to go.
No city that you want to live in.
No job you are dying to have.

What do you do when you feel ill prepared for the world?
Not that you can’t take care of yourself, or pay your bills
but you don’t feel like you fit in with your coworkers.
You don’t really like the bar scene
you’re finding it harder to meet new people.
And therefore make new friends.

What do you do when there is nothing you want?
other than material things
and you don’t really want them
because you forget about them in a week.

What do you do when you feel smothered, stifled, lacking a proper outlet for your feelings?
Not wanting to be a bother to your friends
Or a burden. Or to impose.

You stagnate. You become apathetic. You feel trapped.
Every little thing feels like a bomb dropping.
You are looking for an excuse, any reason, to just pick up and run.

And yet you don’t want to.
Is it fear?
Of the unknown? Of success? Of life?
Of leaving your family?
Being forgotten?

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